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How to forgive when you cannot forget - Parshat Vayigash

09/12/2021 09:08:40 AM

Dec9

Dear Congregational Family,

One of the books I added to my rabbinic collection in the 1990's is entitled, "How to forgive when you cannot forget." It was written by a colleague of mine who lived nearby from me. The book is a recapitulation of the saga between Joseph and his brothers.

Joseph would never forget how his brothers threw him into a pit, almost left him to die, and sold him to slavery in Egypt. Now, many years later, Joseph is a viceroy in Egypt, and his brothers are subservient to him during a time of famine.

Joseph could easily take vengeance against his brothers. However, after Judah offers a passionate plea, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. Forgiveness and reconciliation ensue. Joseph embodied the lesson that one can forgive even when one cannot forget. Ultimately, forgiveness is not about letting the aggressor off the hook. Rather, forgiveness is about removing a burden from within ourselves so that we can live healthier lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The ability to forgive is one of the hardest challenges in one's life.

When the Joseph-Judah sagas began, both brothers were brought to a low point. Judah had shown terrible aspects of himself to Tamar before she inspired him to change and to grow. Joseph had been self-righteous to his family, which resulted in him going 'down' to a pit, 'down' to Egypt, and 'down' to a prison before he was gradually raised up to a position of prominence. 

In this week's Parsha, Joseph and Judah both show that it is possible to change, to grow, to unite, and to move forward in life. May their examples bring meaning to our lives today.

Sincerely,
Rabbi Howard Morrison

Fri, 29 March 2024 19 Adar II 5784